Lately, the world has become a fan of unrequited love and affection, so much so that it seeks comfort in being alone. The perception of love is changing with changing generations. Love is becoming more open, flexible, and casual in today’s day and age. Certain trends and ideas seem to influence the newer generation; the idea of polyamory, open relationships, and other non-monogamous setups have become increasingly accepted. What seems implausible is that the practice of sologamy is growing. This bizarre trend itself raises the question of people’s trust in love and marriage. Across the world, the number of people choosing to marry is declining. The average age of marriage has risen to over 30 in most developed countries.[object Object]According to a recent study, 42% of marriages end in divorce in the United States alone.
Today’s reality is that people are okay with many passing flings, but the institution of marriage scares them. What is difficult to process is that unrequited love and complex relationships are becoming a trend that people have stopped validating true love. Gone are the days when dating was simpler; you fell in love and got married. The dating game of today is taken to a whole new level with concepts like situationship, breadcrumbing, ghosting, throning, benching, etc. Let us decode some recent dating terms if you’re unaware of them, too.
[object Object]Situationship can be defined as a relationship without any commitments. Yes, you heard it right! Situationships are non-committal, where you can enjoy the perks of being single while being in a relationship.
[object Object]Breadcrumbing means when someone gives you enough attention or affection to keep you interested without intending to have a serious relationship. It involves sending sporadic or non-committal messages to keep the person’s interest intact.
[object Object]Ghosting is when someone stops all communication with their partners abruptly without giving any closure. One of the most common issues people face in dating these days is being ghosted by their partner or match on the various dating sites leaving them confused and heartbroken.
[object Object] Throning refers to flaunting a partner for social symbol and status. Like gold-digging, throning is when someone uses their partner to increase their status.
[object Object] Benching means keeping someone as a backup option while exploring other potential partners. Here, the person is not fully committed to someone but still maintains contact by sporadically texting or seeing them primarily because they want to explore other options. As dating apps have grown, terms like benching have become very common.
With such trends becoming a hotbed of distrust and dishonesty, it’s hard to find real connections. What’s appalling is that people have stopped believing in love and started giving importance to superficial things in their relationships. If you think closely, it is becoming harder to find the right partner mainly because of this. But let me tell you, love is simple. It is finding warmth in someone’s arms when they hold you. It is enjoying a cup of tea together in the rain. It is feeling safe in someone’s presence. It is all those things that make you feel valued, heard, and validated. You can’t go wrong with that person, so you may not be too conscious about how you are with that person. The fear of judgment is eliminated with the right man or woman.
Love in its truest form doesn’t take anything from you. It is seamless and effortless, even though they say you must put effort into keeping someone happy. Of course, you must make sure they are comfortable and happy around you, but once you become comfortable with each other, it doesn’t take much effort. I recently heard that people are now afraid to share their space with someone as they are so fond of the idea of freedom. Freedom is not wrong, but you won’t know the joy of sharing your life with your love until you believe in true love.
When I see people talking so casually about relationships or having lost faith in love, I can understand where they are coming from, but I wish I could make them understand the importance of the right kind of love. They say today, it’s hard to find that. The notion of love has changed more than the people. And for that, only we are responsible. As long as we keep fostering the wrong kind of love, finding the right one will become more difficult. It may sound like going for relationship after relationship to find the right one. But it’s not that. If you are mature and pragmatic about it, you can meet the right one. I know many won’t relate to it, but when it comes to finding a long-term relationship or marriage, emotions don’t work solely. You must set your expectations and boundaries right. Communicate openly with the person, try to bond, find each other’s interests, give space (Don’t fret when they don’t call you now and then), and most importantly, take a leap of faith.
Unrequited love is all in trend, but do you know what’s comforting? Requited love with lots of compassion, understanding, and care as its core ingredients. I don’t know what I would say or write that makes you believe in the power of love, but love is, as they say, the best feeling ever. But only if you’re welcoming enough to appreciate it or acknowledge your love for someone. It’s like a good book; you have to read it to know the ending. However, I know there are failures in love. Heartbreaks happen. It happened to me, too, which left me shattered and made it difficult to trust anyone. But I am so glad I did. I took a second chance. I am happy I chose to marry. Because I told you, it’s like a good book. You have to read it to know! I wrote this blog intending to rekindle people’s dying faith in love. I hope you find real love, and if you find one, don’t let them go.